Tourist Processing Facility 38c

We think this best captures the spirit of Graceland.

The Shape Of Business

If only more businesses built their shops in the shape of their primary ware, the conveniences of modern travel would be enhanced by no longer having to read.

In this case, the proprietor is selling rocks. Not strawberry sundaes.

The Place Your Friends Told You To See

Apparently, The Pioneer Village in Minden, Nebraska is the finest attraction in the state. The billboards claim 'FIVE MILLION SATISFIED VISITORS'.

K and I figured that every minute 100 cars pass the exit. Assuming an average of two people per car, that makes 288,000 per day or 105,120,000 people per year. The billboard appears to be about 20 years old, and in that time, 2,102,400,000 people have read it. Using their figures, only 0.23% of travelers are satisfied by The Pioneer Village.

I think you're better off stopping at Taco Bell.

The Old West Lives!

Sort of. You are now charged admission to see people killed on the streets and minorities and outcasts executed. According to historians, public hangings were, at one time, truly public -- open to everyone, and, please, bring a picnic basket! Now it's $4.75 for a hot dog after you pass through the gift shop.

Behemoths Of The Plains

Don't let an enterprising tourist trap trick you into handing out $10 to "dinosaur footprints" when you can see the whole enchilada for free at a gas station. This is one of the best preserved apotosauri on the continent. We named him Happy Appie.