A Visit From Mr. Geology

Hello, again, Mr. Geology. Thanks for making the long trek to southern Utah.

I wouldn't miss an opportunity to educate the American people.

First, what is the predominant land feature of this part of the world?

Southern Utah is covered in a thick layer of frictionalized supercompressed stonal firms -- in the words of the layperson, 'rocks'. Tremendous forces, including, but not limited to, hydromotion, breezification, and erosionation, have acted upon this 'rock' to create the forms you see before you.

But, these shapes and colors are beyond anything I can comprehend! Just how did it happen?

Let's use the canyon you see here as an example. Perhaps hundreds of years ago, massive downward pressure from precipitationary bihydrogen-oxygen in flowal directionization splitified the stonal firms, or canyonized the landscape. To put this in perspective, stick your finger in a newly opened jar of peanut butter while jumping off a chair.

Okay, so how did that tree grow there?

I'm a geologist, not a botanist.

U-PICK GLOW SKULLS TURN RIGHT

We took a short detour to a renowned local orchard, but to our dismay, we found it to be h-a-u-n-t-e-d by the ghost of Al Jolson.

Shoe Tree or Tree of Shoes?

I O W A

We've made it back to Iowa. K is excited that there are trees again.

We've written a new state anthem. The melody is lifted from 'The Stripper'.

Iowa!
It's Iowa!
We've got corn!
And we've got pigs!
I!
O!
Double-U!
A!