Denver's Davies' Diner's Delicious

Fill in the blank:

"Davies' Chuck Wagon Diner is a great breakfast place __________ the sign."
(a.) in spite of
(b.) even with
(c.) and we love

If you chose (a.) or (b.), you are a non-fun stick in the mud. The correct answer in (c.).

Gallimimus Footprints - Hoax or Myth?

Allegedly, these are gen-u-ine dinosaur footprints. A herd (pack? flock?) of gallimimi stomped through here millions of years ago and left these marks. Of course, there's no real evidence like photographs or YouTube videos -- just the unfounded speculation of a bunch of hoity-toity paleontologists.

Gambling, Colorado Style

Back home, we pretend that riverboats are still a part of our daily lives, and we put casinos in them to fool tourists. In Colorado, they take 19th century mining towns and let the casinos run wild.

Gambling is the only thing going on in Central City and Black Hawk. The casinos even run the gas stations. Just south of Black Hawk, we bought gas from a place called 'Bullwhackers'. We probably wouldn't have done this if we weren't driving a rental car.

Photos Taken By Strangers

Here we are! Rocky Mountain National Park! Dream Lake!

This was part of our quid pro quo photo exchange with total strangers. Their camera was nicer than ours, so I kept it.

Tastes Great? Part 4

Before any of you decide that we're drunks -- we're not. It's just that Colorado lacks any kind of defining cuisine, so we went with microbrews -- something they have lots of.

Here's a really awful photo from Noodles & Co. -- America's greatest chain restaurant. It's great because it was started by two guys who went to Augustana College.

New Belgium Sunshine Wheat
K: "I already said this was the best beer I've ever had, so I got it again."
B: "This is pretty good -- it lacks a strong beer flavor."

Score: Five berets out of five.

New Belgium Fat Tire Ale
K: "Okay."
B: "Not bad. Doesn't remind me of mountain biking."

Score: Three berets out of five.

Kerry Reviews Pt 4

Wednesday, 27 June

Breakfast - La Quinta - It was ok. I wasn't very hungry.
2 of 5

Lunch - La Rocca II in Rifle, CO - Pork Burrito and Chicken Quesadilla. Orange cheese, anyone? I felt like I was eating at Chi-Chi's. It was really expensive, too.
0 of 5

Dinner - Tuscato in Frisco, CO - Spaghetti & Meatballs and Asparagus, Goat Cheese Lasagna, Salad, and Chocolate cake. Oh my god, my stomach feels like it's going to burst. Expensive, but delicious.
4 of 5

Hotel - La Quinta in Silverthorne, CO. Have I told you how much I love La Quintas? This one was a little strange. It was huge. There was a (closed for the season) ski shop in the lobby. The room was great, but there were too many people were using the wireless internet, so it kept crashing on us.
3.5 of 5

Thursday, 28 June

Breakfast - Kerry ate leftover spaghetti & meatballs. Brandon had the continental breakfast.
Kerry - 4 of 5
Brandon - 2 of 5

Lunch - Sandwiches and snacks picked up from the Safeway in Fraiser, CO - eaten on a picnic bench in RMNP. Delicious - and no need to tip.
4 of 5

Dinner - Estes Park Brewing Co in Estes Park, CO. Sub-par pizza, sub-par beer. OK salad.
2 of 5

Hotel - Comfort Inn in Estes Park, CO. The original plan was to reserve a campsite in RMNP and sleep in the car. As I mentioned earlier, the internet kept crashing so we couldn't reserve the site last night. They don't allow day of reservations so instead of $20, we're out $130-something. Fantastic. This place clearly used to be local. It's sprawling, and old-timey - not really in a good way. But it's clean.
2.5 of 5

When I'm not so tired, I might actually write about what we've been doing. Not tonight though.

Tastes Great? Part 3

Estes Park Brewery Longs Peak Raspberry Wheat
K: "The raspberry tastes fake like the river in this town."
B: "Did you taste the river?"

Score: One beret out of five.

Estes Park Brewery Staggering Elk Ale
K: "Nyeh. It's okay."
B: "They have a t-shirt with the label on it."

Score: Two and One-Half berets out of five.

Photo Caption Contest!

Oh, if you can't tell, there's water spouting from his hat.

Guess What State We're In?

Hint: it's not Nebraska. These two business are two blocks from each other in Estes Park. Estes Park, COLORADO.

Free Onions!

So, it's not as exciting for most of you as Free Beer, but it was a pretty amazing scene. A semi hauling stacks of onion sacks starting shedding a few onions near the Johnson Tunnel on I-70. Then a whole bag. Then onions were bouncing down the highway. This is not something you see every day.

Estes Park Strays

No need to pay steep admission prices to a national park when you can peer over someone's fence and see a couple elk grazing in the yard. These guys are all over Estes Park.

Behold The Natural Splendor

Rocky Mountain National Park has so many scenic vistas that I had a hard time picking just one. I think this best exemplifies its character.

Not So Wiley

A coyote! He just took off his bandana before this was taken.

Here Sheepy Sheepy!

We've been to Bighorn Canyon, Bighorn Lookout, Bighorn Creek, Bighorn Crossing, Bighorn Viewing Area, Bighorn Cliff, and Bighorns 'R' Us, and we've seen ZERO bighorn sheep.

Here's our first. Sadly, the sheep is so far away, that its image is less than one pixel. Of course, the whole thing could be an animatronic hoax.

Mountain Safety 101

Don't forget the snow!

We waited about six hours to see our first avalanche, but nothing happened. So we threw rocks at the mountain hoping to make it angry.

Why Wine Is Better Than Beer

Most people have eaten grapes, and they like them. Most people have not eaten barley unless they're really into ultra-healthy breakfast foods.

Lagaria Pinot Grigio
K: "Not as good as some other wine."
B: "It doesn't make me wince."

Score: Two berets out of five (docked one beret for not having microbrew cachet)

Snowballs In June

Here's K, regretting that she threw that snowball at me. I won't show you the next photo -- it's not pretty.

Secret Cars

Here's the Ford Focus SEL. It's a super-secret prototype that Ford was testing at 10,000 feet. I can't tell you what is so special about it because it looked like any other Focus but for the missing hubcaps. Oh, well. You saw it here first.

I Have Nothing Clever To Say About This

Why We'll Be Sick In A Couple Days

I realize this would be much more dramatic if (a.) I had focused this better and (b.) if I had a 'before' picture. The temperature earlier today was 101 degrees in Grand Junction. Three hours later at Loveland Pass, it's now 50 degrees. Had this happened in a single location, I'm sure it would be some sort of record.

Nevertheless, this truly adds credence to the phrase "In Colorado, if you don't like the weather, drive 200 miles and wait three hours."

Brandon Rises From The Ashes

In a freak avalanche, Brandon was buried in a pile of sandstone. Then, miraculously, he emerged from the wreckage having dug a tunnel with only his bare hands and a tube of Burt's Bees lip balm.

Ask Mr. Geology

Mr. Geology, can you explain the many different layers of rock found at Colorado National Monument?

Certainly. The bottom-most layer of visible rock is known in geologic terms as basal stone. It is formed by tremendous forces in the earth's crust. Then from bottom to top: second stone, layeral rock, and topping rock.

Mr. Geology, how do the beautiful spires form?

This geologic process is know as pointification. Tremendous forces act upon the layers of rock and, in layman's terms, make it pointy.

Mr. Geology, how old are these rocks?

The formations at Colorado National Monument are over 100 years old in geologic time! To make this understandable, if you grew one inch per year for 100 years, you would be over 100 inches tall. Imagine that!

You're so smart!

Thanks for your questions.

More Proof That Kerry Is The Greatest Wildlife Photographer Of Her Generation

She did it again. A photo of the elusive 'missing link' between dinosaurs and modern lizards -- mythicus dragonia. It doesn't look that big in the picture, but this guy measure 35 feet from head to tail.

Tastes Great? Part 3

Welcome to the Rockslide Brewery in Grand Junction.

The results . . .

Rabbit Ears Amber
K: "Not so bitter. This is the best."
B: "Not so sweet. Okay?"
Score: Four berets out of five.

Kokopelli's Cream Ale
K: "This is mild, but I don't really like it."
B: "Enough with the Kokopelli."
Score: Two and one-half berets.

Widowmaker Wheat
K: "I'll give it second place."
B: "I have nothing constructive to say about this."
Score: Three and one-half berets.

The Brewer's Special Porter
K: "This gets better."
B: "This doesn't taste right. Like something fell in."
Score: Three berets.

Big Bear Stout
K: "Alright."
B: "Licorice? Leather? This is yocky."
Score: Two berets (average of one and three berets).

Cold Shivers Pale Ale
K: "This has bite. I just don't like ale."
B: "This is the same as the other ale? I can't tell."
Score: Two berets

Today's winner:
Rabbit Ears Amber

Mysteries Of The Universe Solved!

A tire farm! They really do well in the dry climate. This is a new crop of Goodyears.

The Hunt For Indigenous Wildlife, Part 2

The Hunt For Indigenous Wildlife

Here's what we ended up with after a 30 minute ride on a dirt road to the Bookcliffs Wild Horse Range.

Kerry Is The Next Great Wildlife Photographer

This is an 'i feel car sick' exclusive excerpt from Kerry's forthcoming travel journals:

As the bloodthirsty chipmunk stared us down, I knew that I only had a fraction of a second to capture the moment on film. The beast gnashed its fangs and let out a bloodcurdling shriek that I can never forget. I snapped the camera and the monster lunged. Blood dripped from the corners of its mouth. The pounding in my skull reached deafening levels, and I lost consciousness as the creature jabbed its claws into my eyes and clamped down on my neck.

I awoke in a cloud of blood and confusion. But I was alive. Brandon had fought off the killer and had saved me. I owed him my life.

This is about one-fifth of the greatest vista I have ever seen. That's Utah over there about 5000 feet below the edge of the Grand Mesa. On the way down, we just missed this guy.

The World's Largest . . .

"Where's all the crazy stuff?"

"Did you see the biggest hairball?"

"Where are the record setting weird things?"

Here you go, folks! THE WORLD'S LARGEST 'W'. Right there in Gunnison, Colorado.

Corrections & Clarifications

The editorial department (Kerry) noticed that I did not adequately detail our experience at the Gunnison Brewery in that our beer was free.

F R E E B E E R
- A ONE ACT PLAY -

WAITRESS: Can I take your order?

B: We'll have the summer brew and the rye.

W: Any food or just the beer?

B: No food, thanks.

[fifteen minutes pass without the beer arriving]

[five more minutes pass]

W: Are you ready to settle up?

B: Um, we didn't get anything yet.

T H E E N D

Large Holes

Not many folks have heard about The Black Canyon of The Gunnison. Now you have. And you should do whatever you can to see it. It's amazing. What it lacks in vastness (i.e. The Grand Canyon), it makes up in sheer terror-inducing vertigo. That tiny line of white and green curving through the bottom of the frame is the Gunnison River. I am standing about 2000 feet above it. Did I mention that the walls of the canyon go straight down? On both sides? That is has 8-foot high poison ivy plants?

Kerry Reviews Pt 3

Tuesday, 26 June

Breakfast - Comfort Inn in Gunnison. Um... it was ok. No fruit. No yogurt.
2 of 5

Lunch - Daily Bread Bakery in Montrose. Also just ok. Turkey sandwiches and chips. The brownie was great, but too much. The chocolate chip cookie tasted like they didn't use brown sugar.
2.5 of 5

Dinner - Rockslide Brewery in Grand Junction. Once again, just ok. B. will tell you about the beers we tried. My steak was chewy. His buffaloe meatloaf had too much gravy. The salad was fantastic.
3 of 5

You should know, though, that our day was not "just ok." It was abso-freakin'-lutly awesome.

Hotel - La Quinta in Fruitas. I love the La Quinta. It's probably my favorite hotel chain. They're tidy, the breakfast is good, they're friendly, there's free internet, and they're in my price range. Tonight's room is no disappointment. Next time you travel, try the La Quinta. It's way better than it was 20 years ago.
5 of 5

Kerry Reviews Pt 2

Before I start - for the record - my posts are less frequent, and less funny because B. monopolizes the computer for an hour and by then I've forgotten all of the ridiculously funny things I have to say. It's not because I'm just not as clever. Really.

So... hotel and meal reviews it is, then.

Sunday, 24 June

Breakfast at the Staybridge. My waffle exploded. What else is there to say?
One yum out of five.

Lunch - Venture Market Grocery Store. Sandwiches and bananas. B thought his was "way better than Subway." I thought it was a bit salty.
2.5 out of 5

Dinner - Souper! Salad! Rumor has it that this is Ross Perot's favorite restaurant. Understandably. But not "I want to eat there every day"'s worth.
3 of 5

Hotel - Super 8 in Canon City. I was warned away from this town because of all the correctional facilities in town, but we stayed anyway, and had the pleasure of playing the "Is it a school or a prison?" game. (Score: Kerry 2, Brandon 1, Neither 3) Anyway, the room was clean enough - or at least it smelled clean. The mattress was pretty nasty though.
1 Z of 5

Monday, 25 June

Breakfast - K. skipped the sub-par Super 8 breakfast and opted for Burger King Cini-minis. Always worth it.
4 of 5

Lunch - Echo Canyon River Expedition - Is there anything better than a big lunch after considerable physical labor?
5 of 5; would be 6 of 5, but B complained that there were no artichokes.

Dinner - Amica's Pizza. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm! And Cheap!
5 of 5

Hotel - Comfort Inn in Gunnison, CO. Almost impossible to find. We drove past it once, and almost drove past a second and third time. When I went online to reserve this room, the only negative comment warned us not to stay in a room ending in 06. These rooms are by the elevator and very noisy. I thought about mentioning it to the desk clerk when I checked in, but I did not. And I almost laughed out loud as I watched her write 306 on my key card. Fantastic. It's not that noisy though, and the room is huge.

Let's say 3.5 of 5.

Tastes Great? Part 2

The Great Colorado Beer Challenge continues. From left to right: Gunnison Brewery Something-Something Rye and Gunnison Brewery Summer of '69 Something-Something.

The results:

Something-Something Rye
K: "I like yours better. It's sweeter."
B: "I still can't tell the difference."
Score: Three and One-Half berets out of five

Summer of '69 Something-Something
K: "I don't that at all."
B: "It's kind of bitey."
Score: One beret out of five

Something-Something ESB
K: "Better than the first one, but not as much as the rye. I taste coffee."
B: "It's chocolately."
Score: Two berets out of five

Name That Peak!

Boy, do we get a lot of feedback from our readers! We barely have time to enjoy vacation after sorting through all the fan mail. We did discover that our loyal audience wants to participate more in the blog. So, we devised a little interactive contest that you should enjoy.

Driving along US-50, we found this lovely peak which, according to our topographic atlas, does not have a name! We want you, the readers, to name the peak. Please put your suggestions in the comment area, and in a few days, we'll decide which one we like the best, and send it off to the authorities or whoever keeps track of these things.

And, thanks for reading! We wouldn't be here without you!

Pardon Me, Boy, Is That The Royal Gorge Route?

Then we got on a train which took us past the really tough rapids. But not because we couldn't do it . . .

Forward Two! Back One! Forward Three!

Here are the rapids we ran today on the Arkansas River. No, really. The dude said these were 'gnarly' and 'swirly'. They also rank very highly on the whitewater danger scale.

World's Most Dangerous Whitewater
1. Niagara Falls
2. Victoria Falls
3. Arkansas River
4. Malibu mudslide (1986)

Yes, the river we rafted was just slightly less dangerous than going over Niagara Falls. I think our picture will be on the cover of Outside magazine next month.

The Old West Lives!

Sort of. You are now charged admission to see people killed on the streets and minorities and outcasts executed. According to historians, public hangings were, at one time, truly public -- open to everyone, and, please, bring a picnic basket! Now it's $4.75 for a hot dog after you pass through the gift shop.

Scenic Drives, Part 192

There you go. Scenery now has operating hours.

Get Out Here. Now!

If you haven't quit your job to travel out to Colorado to see Bishop's Castle, what are you waiting for? Along with Dr. Evermore's Forevertron and The City Museum in St. Louis, this is one of the most awesome-tastic manmade things in the world. (I have never been to The Great Wall, so that doesn't count. And penicillin comes from mold.)

The photo here doesn't do it justice. It's much larger than it looks. It's much more rickety than it looks. It's much cooler than it looks.

Did I mention that James Bishop did this by himself?!?

The Pioneer Spirit

Much has been written about the hardships of the westward-bound pioneers of the 19th century. I can't ever remember coming across an anecdote which ended with the covered wagon bursting into flames. So there. Who really had it rougher?

And In Fourth Place . . .

. . . is this guy and his pack burro. Cripple Creek's Donkey Derby Days is fun. It would be even more fun if the fixed-income crowd would get off their slot machine stools and pay attention to the festivities. If you don't turn your head around to see a guy running a burro down Main Street, what will it take?

Truth In Advertising, Part 10

Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument gets it. They promise you 'Big Stump', and they give you a big stump. BONUS: it's a petrified big stump!

Truth In Advertising, Part 9

You've probably heard about The Garden Of The Gods from your RVing relatives. What they didn't tell you is that none of the formations are named after gods. They all have second-rate cave-style appellations like 'The Kissing Camels' or 'The Giant Empty Doritos Bag'.

Obligatory Evil Santa Photo

Official Song of Colorado

Here are the contenders so far for the coveted title of Official Song of Colorado:

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson & Reba McIntyre duet

Beautiful Girl - Sean Kingston

Something by the Beatles.

Kerry's Hotel and Restaurant Reviews!

Friday Night

The Best Western Villager in Lincoln, NE - How did this place get a place on the Hotwire hotel list? It looks like it used to be an in-town resort back in the day. It's huge, there's a fountain in the courtyard, and there's giant boulders lining the parking lot.

The current owners thought that new ceramic tile = bathroom remodel. The blow dryer was loud, and didn't dry my hair, per se, but it did have shiny gold trim.

The continental breakfast was at a Saloon next door that apparently had a hot night on Saturday with someone winning $700 in Keno - TWICE! Breakfast consisted of fruit, a danish and juice, tea or coffee. We skipped it.

But there was a bed. Two of them in fact.

1 Z out of 5

Saturday

Breakfast

U-Stop gas station. The gas was $44. The breakfast was iced tea and prepackaged baked goods. B threw away the last third of his muffin because it tasted like candy.

1 Yum out of 5

Lunch

Valentino's - Ogallala truck stop. This was better than I expected. We got the buffet. The pizza wasn't too greasy. The lasagna was Kerry-style. The fountain Mountain Dew was delightful.

3 Yums

Dinner

Wazee Supper Club - The atmosphere wasn't quite as great as the travel book would have lead us to think, but the burger and Stromboli were tasty, and they had Wilco on the jukebox. Downside - about half way through dinner they switched to the radio and We Are the World came on.

3.5 Yums

Hotel

Staybridge Suites in Denver, CO. - OK, the full size refrigerator is nice, but this place is nowhere near as great as people make it out to be. They've still got the ridiculous wall art. They've still got the nasty bed spread. They only gave us one towel. BUT - they do have those nifty toilets with the suction flush. Pretty schmancy!

The continental breakfast also appears that it'll be above average.

3 Zs

Strip Club or Roller Coaster?

Push Button

Really, what machine isn't improved through the addition of a Butter Button?

The Colorado Thing

I don't have much to say about this. But, I do think it neatly sums up the average Coloradoianian's view of the role of the United States in the geopolitical sphere vis-a-vis the detente v. engagement didactic.

Tastes Great?

Microbrewing is one industry that the Chinese and Indians have not been able to take away from good ol' Uncle Sam. From left to right: New Belgium Sunshine Wheat, Denver Municipal Tap Water, New Belgium Skinny Dip.

The results . . .

Sunshine Wheat
"The best beer I've ever had." -K
"You can really taste the sunshine. Or is that the wheat?" -B
Score: Five berets out of five

Tap Water
"Mmmm. I'm thirsty." -K
"Refreshing. A clean finish. Lacks hoppiness." -B
Score: Five berets out of five

Skinny Dip
"I don't like your beer." -K
"It's okay. Tastes like beer." -B
Score: Two berets out of five

Behemoths Of The Plains

Don't let an enterprising tourist trap trick you into handing out $10 to "dinosaur footprints" when you can see the whole enchilada for free at a gas station. This is one of the best preserved apotosauri on the continent. We named him Happy Appie.

The Voice Of An Angel

As we travel along the Platte River, K is singing the song 'Ballad Of The Lonely Argonaut'. Here's a taste of what you're missing.

When Will America's Obsession With Spas Ever End?

The folks in Nebraska spare no luxury when it comes to automobiles. This grey sedan was waiting for a shiatsu and a hot oil treatment.

Gateway To The West

How big is the Gateway Arch? So big that you can see it from the U-Stop gas station in Lincoln, Nebraska. I wonder what the pioneers thought when they gazed at its majesty.

Mountains!

We sighted our first mountain today. It really sticks out on the flat plains of Nebraska. I think the locals refer to it as Mount Nebraska State Capitol Building.