Tastes Great? Part 4

Before any of you decide that we're drunks -- we're not. It's just that Colorado lacks any kind of defining cuisine, so we went with microbrews -- something they have lots of.

Here's a really awful photo from Noodles & Co. -- America's greatest chain restaurant. It's great because it was started by two guys who went to Augustana College.

New Belgium Sunshine Wheat
K: "I already said this was the best beer I've ever had, so I got it again."
B: "This is pretty good -- it lacks a strong beer flavor."

Score: Five berets out of five.

New Belgium Fat Tire Ale
K: "Okay."
B: "Not bad. Doesn't remind me of mountain biking."

Score: Three berets out of five.

Tastes Great? Part 3

Estes Park Brewery Longs Peak Raspberry Wheat
K: "The raspberry tastes fake like the river in this town."
B: "Did you taste the river?"

Score: One beret out of five.

Estes Park Brewery Staggering Elk Ale
K: "Nyeh. It's okay."
B: "They have a t-shirt with the label on it."

Score: Two and One-Half berets out of five.

Tastes Great? Part 3

Welcome to the Rockslide Brewery in Grand Junction.

The results . . .

Rabbit Ears Amber
K: "Not so bitter. This is the best."
B: "Not so sweet. Okay?"
Score: Four berets out of five.

Kokopelli's Cream Ale
K: "This is mild, but I don't really like it."
B: "Enough with the Kokopelli."
Score: Two and one-half berets.

Widowmaker Wheat
K: "I'll give it second place."
B: "I have nothing constructive to say about this."
Score: Three and one-half berets.

The Brewer's Special Porter
K: "This gets better."
B: "This doesn't taste right. Like something fell in."
Score: Three berets.

Big Bear Stout
K: "Alright."
B: "Licorice? Leather? This is yocky."
Score: Two berets (average of one and three berets).

Cold Shivers Pale Ale
K: "This has bite. I just don't like ale."
B: "This is the same as the other ale? I can't tell."
Score: Two berets

Today's winner:
Rabbit Ears Amber

Corrections & Clarifications

The editorial department (Kerry) noticed that I did not adequately detail our experience at the Gunnison Brewery in that our beer was free.

F R E E B E E R
- A ONE ACT PLAY -

WAITRESS: Can I take your order?

B: We'll have the summer brew and the rye.

W: Any food or just the beer?

B: No food, thanks.

[fifteen minutes pass without the beer arriving]

[five more minutes pass]

W: Are you ready to settle up?

B: Um, we didn't get anything yet.

T H E E N D

Tastes Great?

Microbrewing is one industry that the Chinese and Indians have not been able to take away from good ol' Uncle Sam. From left to right: New Belgium Sunshine Wheat, Denver Municipal Tap Water, New Belgium Skinny Dip.

The results . . .

Sunshine Wheat
"The best beer I've ever had." -K
"You can really taste the sunshine. Or is that the wheat?" -B
Score: Five berets out of five

Tap Water
"Mmmm. I'm thirsty." -K
"Refreshing. A clean finish. Lacks hoppiness." -B
Score: Five berets out of five

Skinny Dip
"I don't like your beer." -K
"It's okay. Tastes like beer." -B
Score: Two berets out of five

Free Beer!

I've seen the commercials. You find yourself a real nice cool mountain stream, reach in, and pull out a six-pack of Busch. Unfortunately, this being real life in Appalachia, all we got were two empty Pabst Blue Ribbon cans and a Mountain Dew cap.

-b