Look Out World, Here Comes Pregnant Lady

K, in a tremendous storm of testosterone-fueled rage, rips the knob off the door latch of the Holiday Inn Express in Cardiff.

High 72, Low 58, Partly Cloudy

When will anyone need to use this?

20 Weeks Down

Here's K at 20 weeks into pre-motherhood. If she looks weary and exhausted, it's because she's been hauling a 12 ounce baby around San Diego all day. A welcome respite at the Hotel Del is had. But not the $10 cheeseburger.

Las Vegas, Las Vegas-Style

This is our personal workout space in our cozy 'Venetian' Las Vegas hotel 'room'. Not pictured: walk-in closet, bathroom, dining room, walk-in closet #2, bathroom #2, living room, foyer, bathroom #3, and sauna.

This cost nothing extra. They liked us so much we got the top floor suite.

Kerry Reviews Pt 4

Wednesday, 27 June

Breakfast - La Quinta - It was ok. I wasn't very hungry.
2 of 5

Lunch - La Rocca II in Rifle, CO - Pork Burrito and Chicken Quesadilla. Orange cheese, anyone? I felt like I was eating at Chi-Chi's. It was really expensive, too.
0 of 5

Dinner - Tuscato in Frisco, CO - Spaghetti & Meatballs and Asparagus, Goat Cheese Lasagna, Salad, and Chocolate cake. Oh my god, my stomach feels like it's going to burst. Expensive, but delicious.
4 of 5

Hotel - La Quinta in Silverthorne, CO. Have I told you how much I love La Quintas? This one was a little strange. It was huge. There was a (closed for the season) ski shop in the lobby. The room was great, but there were too many people were using the wireless internet, so it kept crashing on us.
3.5 of 5

Thursday, 28 June

Breakfast - Kerry ate leftover spaghetti & meatballs. Brandon had the continental breakfast.
Kerry - 4 of 5
Brandon - 2 of 5

Lunch - Sandwiches and snacks picked up from the Safeway in Fraiser, CO - eaten on a picnic bench in RMNP. Delicious - and no need to tip.
4 of 5

Dinner - Estes Park Brewing Co in Estes Park, CO. Sub-par pizza, sub-par beer. OK salad.
2 of 5

Hotel - Comfort Inn in Estes Park, CO. The original plan was to reserve a campsite in RMNP and sleep in the car. As I mentioned earlier, the internet kept crashing so we couldn't reserve the site last night. They don't allow day of reservations so instead of $20, we're out $130-something. Fantastic. This place clearly used to be local. It's sprawling, and old-timey - not really in a good way. But it's clean.
2.5 of 5

When I'm not so tired, I might actually write about what we've been doing. Not tonight though.

Kerry Reviews Pt 2

Before I start - for the record - my posts are less frequent, and less funny because B. monopolizes the computer for an hour and by then I've forgotten all of the ridiculously funny things I have to say. It's not because I'm just not as clever. Really.

So... hotel and meal reviews it is, then.

Sunday, 24 June

Breakfast at the Staybridge. My waffle exploded. What else is there to say?
One yum out of five.

Lunch - Venture Market Grocery Store. Sandwiches and bananas. B thought his was "way better than Subway." I thought it was a bit salty.
2.5 out of 5

Dinner - Souper! Salad! Rumor has it that this is Ross Perot's favorite restaurant. Understandably. But not "I want to eat there every day"'s worth.
3 of 5

Hotel - Super 8 in Canon City. I was warned away from this town because of all the correctional facilities in town, but we stayed anyway, and had the pleasure of playing the "Is it a school or a prison?" game. (Score: Kerry 2, Brandon 1, Neither 3) Anyway, the room was clean enough - or at least it smelled clean. The mattress was pretty nasty though.
1 Z of 5

Monday, 25 June

Breakfast - K. skipped the sub-par Super 8 breakfast and opted for Burger King Cini-minis. Always worth it.
4 of 5

Lunch - Echo Canyon River Expedition - Is there anything better than a big lunch after considerable physical labor?
5 of 5; would be 6 of 5, but B complained that there were no artichokes.

Dinner - Amica's Pizza. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm! And Cheap!
5 of 5

Hotel - Comfort Inn in Gunnison, CO. Almost impossible to find. We drove past it once, and almost drove past a second and third time. When I went online to reserve this room, the only negative comment warned us not to stay in a room ending in 06. These rooms are by the elevator and very noisy. I thought about mentioning it to the desk clerk when I checked in, but I did not. And I almost laughed out loud as I watched her write 306 on my key card. Fantastic. It's not that noisy though, and the room is huge.

Let's say 3.5 of 5.

Kerry's Hotel and Restaurant Reviews!

Friday Night

The Best Western Villager in Lincoln, NE - How did this place get a place on the Hotwire hotel list? It looks like it used to be an in-town resort back in the day. It's huge, there's a fountain in the courtyard, and there's giant boulders lining the parking lot.

The current owners thought that new ceramic tile = bathroom remodel. The blow dryer was loud, and didn't dry my hair, per se, but it did have shiny gold trim.

The continental breakfast was at a Saloon next door that apparently had a hot night on Saturday with someone winning $700 in Keno - TWICE! Breakfast consisted of fruit, a danish and juice, tea or coffee. We skipped it.

But there was a bed. Two of them in fact.

1 Z out of 5

Saturday

Breakfast

U-Stop gas station. The gas was $44. The breakfast was iced tea and prepackaged baked goods. B threw away the last third of his muffin because it tasted like candy.

1 Yum out of 5

Lunch

Valentino's - Ogallala truck stop. This was better than I expected. We got the buffet. The pizza wasn't too greasy. The lasagna was Kerry-style. The fountain Mountain Dew was delightful.

3 Yums

Dinner

Wazee Supper Club - The atmosphere wasn't quite as great as the travel book would have lead us to think, but the burger and Stromboli were tasty, and they had Wilco on the jukebox. Downside - about half way through dinner they switched to the radio and We Are the World came on.

3.5 Yums

Hotel

Staybridge Suites in Denver, CO. - OK, the full size refrigerator is nice, but this place is nowhere near as great as people make it out to be. They've still got the ridiculous wall art. They've still got the nasty bed spread. They only gave us one towel. BUT - they do have those nifty toilets with the suction flush. Pretty schmancy!

The continental breakfast also appears that it'll be above average.

3 Zs

4 Reasons Why You Should Always Stay At A 2.5 Star Over A 3 Star Hotel.

1. Not as far to walk from the front desk to your room.

2. At a 2.5 star hotel you can eat as many bagels as you want for free. At a 3 star hotel they're $2.45 each, plus tax.

3. Similarly, at a 2.5 star hotel you get free wireless internet. At a 3 star hotel internet is $9.95 per computer.

4. No need to step over the 'complementary' copy of USA Today on your way out the door.

...

Running Tally:

Waffle House 14
Shoney's 9
Tudor's Biscuit World Whatever # I said last time. This appears to be exclusively a West Virginia Establishment.

...

Second Contender for Official Song of the South: That 'To the Left Song' by Beyonce.

- K.