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"Hurry up! I'm petrifying!"

"Can you tell me how to get down from here?"

"I'm standing on the world's largest dinner rolls!"

The Shape Of Business

If only more businesses built their shops in the shape of their primary ware, the conveniences of modern travel would be enhanced by no longer having to read.

In this case, the proprietor is selling rocks. Not strawberry sundaes.

Check Your New Hampshire State Quarters

The original Old Man Of The Mountain may be lost forever, but the sprit lives on in the form of the Old Man Of The Climbing Rock.

Large Stones

In the White Mountains of New Hampshire, we took the scenic route, and rather than gawking out the windows, we dodged out-of-shape runners and their support vans and a never-ending stream of tiny, British sports cars. To get a break from driving, we paused at a campground and found this fine bit of scenery. Big Rock. A rock that is big.

Mr. Geology Visits The Rocky Coast Of Maine

Hi, Mr. Geology. Thanks for visiting us in Maine.

You're welcome. I am pleased to be here.

Mr. Geology, can you explain how the coast of Maine came to be?

Of course. Red hot magma from the earth's subcore rises to the surface and is quickly cooled by the crashing seawater forming the red granite, or 'rock', coastline. This process, in geologic terms, is known as igneocoastification.

Mr. Geology, what is the difference between granite and, say, concrete?

Ah, yes. The primary difference is that granite is primarily produced by the defossilization of key stonifying elements such as carbon (periodic table C), adhesive (Ad), and dirt (Dt) while concrete contains a higher level of moon rocks. Don't forget, no question is too stupid for Mr. Geology.

Mountain Safety 101

Don't forget the snow!

We waited about six hours to see our first avalanche, but nothing happened. So we threw rocks at the mountain hoping to make it angry.

Truth In Advertising, Part 9

You've probably heard about The Garden Of The Gods from your RVing relatives. What they didn't tell you is that none of the formations are named after gods. They all have second-rate cave-style appellations like 'The Kissing Camels' or 'The Giant Empty Doritos Bag'.